These days I feel all wrong.
My words are jumbled- I can’t say what I mean.
My hands are clumsy- I can’t make what I want.
My brain is foggy- I can’t think a clear thought.
I feel upside down and backwards.
I work in loop de loops and zig zags.
I haven’t been able to make a straight line for a while.
My skin doesn’t seem to fit anymore.
I’m an imposter in my own body and I can’t seem to find my own reality anymore.
My bones creak in protest when I force them to move.
And sometimes I can’t even tell if I’m the one moving them.
I feel wrong, right now.
But, when you turn on the faucet for the first time in awhile it takes a while before the water runs clear.
So I’ll shout my jumbled words, I’ll flail my clumsy hands, and I’ll run through my foggy brain.
I’ll walk on my hands and run backwards.
I’ll twirl in loop de loops and jump in zig zags.
I’ll make a melody of my creaking bones.
I’ll turn my faucet on full blast and let the dirty water flood out.
With the hope that, one day soon, my faucet will run clear again.